lose to gain.

today i realised what it means to lose to gain. as i was sitting at the backseat of the car, and as i thought about what has happened from yesterday till today, i just felt a rush of emotions that i probably kept within me for quite some time. i was touched by what i heard, but then again, was sad that i gave up something that was quite precious to me. thankfully my two friends in front were talking and that the car was dark, so they didnt notice me crying. it wld probably have scared them, haha.  

true, i may have lost and sacrificed alot of things over the past few days, i wld be lying if i said i wasn’t disappointed or hurt. i mean, after going through so much effort and time, isn’t it a waste to give up such an opportunity? and after looking forward to something and having expectations for it, and then you realise that you suddenly have no more control over it, and it’s gone now, wldnt that be quite disappointing too?

probably what touches me deepest is the fact the God was there all along, He never let me go, He sought for ways to bring me back to Him. like how it is now. i thank God for giving me the courage to speak up and to make certain decisions. i dont think im at a disadvantage this time, in fact, im learnt so much more through this experience. God is definitely making his presence known to me in my life; t’was a good and timely reminder that He is sovereign and He is in control.

whatever decision i’ve made, is made. whatever that’s lost, let it be. there’s no reason to look back. only to look forward to the wonderful things to come.

“there will be more.”

thank you Lord, for being sovereign in my life. (: