Movies that i feel like catching:
1) Marley and Me
2) The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
3) He’s just not that into you
4) Slumdog Millionare
Movies which i may NOT be able to catch in light of what i have to do:
1) Marley and Me
2) The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
3) He’s just not that into you
4) Slumdog Millionare
oh well, its okay then. i guess certain sacrifices must be made. haha.
but anyone who still wanna watch them, let me know! 
woke up early to go down to TTSH for my medical check-up, a compulsory action to take before going for my OCIP trip! the doctor and nurse gave me THREE injection jabs. for typhoid, hep A and influenza respectively.
i feel so hole-y now. haha.
mid-term break isnt really a break at all. its like ‘hell week.’ have been so busy with stuff but i know when i look back at this week i will thank God for so much that has happened and how He has pulled me through thus far. most importantly i thank God for the times where i can still spend time with Him despite all the madness around me.
“it’s not that i don’t want to do the things that i know i need to do, but sometimes it’s just that you know, a little bit of others (i.e. checking emails, facebook, just that last bit of television programme, meet-up with “someone i haven’t caught up with for sooo long – i am just maintaining relationships) won’t hurt wldn’t it? but trust me, it hurts. it does. when reality kicks it all you feel is just guilt, disappointment, and frustration with yourself. you look at the to-do list which you’ve dilligently (not to mention ironically) planned, and realise you’re in deep trouble.
but that’s where God steps in. time after time He provided a way out, somewhat miraculously things happen and i find myself having another solution, a second chance. but being the imperfect being that i am, i ignore them and free-ride on God’s grace. i take it for granted and think to myself, hey no worries man, God is going to give me another chance anyway. and then when things get really bad, i ask God why does this happen to me. don’t i realise that it was an accumulation of my own ignorance and a sequence of bad decisions on my part? if i knew that i was given a second chance, then why didn’t i take it right away? why do i procrastinate and think that everything would be alright? how could i have been so blind?
it’s hard to know the truth, but i think i realise this important fact: i am weak. i am nothing without God. true, i can grit my teeth and try to go through obstacles one by one, using my own strength and human abilities, but my friend, human abilities are limited. it is only a matter of time that i break. i have to stop this vicious cycle. something has to be done. i have to realise that there’s something in my life that is not right. i have to pray and ask God for answers.
i know i love my God and i want to do whatever that pleases Him. but it is just so difficult sometimes.”
i need You more than ever .
haha i guess you can say they were my “dates” for the day. (oh look mansoor is a red date!) haha anyway, met them at vivo after ocip meeting and dance training to catch Valkyrie!
when i first saw the trailer on tv, i just knew i had to catch it. it wasn’t a bad movie, with a couple of tense moments in it. the guys said the plot was predictable, boring. i dont disagree, but the reason why i appreciated this movie was due to the fact that it wasn’t just any story plot, it’s actual history! like hello, this is the real thing man. that’s precisely what makes it so fascinating to watch. i found myself recalling all the historical facts about the nazi regime as the movie went on, and the more i recalled and understood, the more it made me 
. i could also link it to the concepts i’ve learnt during pol science class. it’s amazing man, loved it. history rocks.
(PS: If you’re interested in such movies, i recommend “Thirteen Days“. It’s about J F Kennedy and how he handled the Cuban Missile Crisis. Awesome movie. – one thing to note about such movies however is that most of them tend to be american-ized. so just watch with an open-mind.)
next movie to look forward to: Marley and Me (my own “must-watch”!)
films which i’ve missed and wanna catch sometime soon: Sophie Scholl, The Pianist, and this other one about a girl being pressured by her mum to stay stick-thin, to the point that she has to starve or smth…it’s really warped.
so anyway, this was the scene outside SMU’s flowershop the day before valentine’s eve:
and mind you, the flowershop is not very big. in fact it is rather puny. I was thinking, “so many flowers, people will really buy ah?”. My friend answered my thoughts, he said “..these flowers, are all people reserved one.” i went, “whoaa.”
what drew my attention as i walked through vivo just now was the bouquets. after looking at so many, i think i have a rough idea what i like and not like in a bouqeut. but that’s entirely based on aesthetic value of course. most of all, it’s the thought that counts, right? (:
so to end off, happy valentine’s day to you, the one reading this. (:
I think sometimes we are so afraid of losing something that we do not dare to do the things we would love to try or do. Little that we know that in doing so, we actually lose out more than we can imagine.
here i am, sacrificing some precious time to actually pen down my thoughts. but nope to me im not wasting time; i do want to do this. inspired by an article which i’ve just read, written by a smu student on the “busy-ness” of life. and also, i love to write. (: i enjoy clearing my thoughts this way.
today in speedlight we sang songs of worship containing the lyrics “i surrender“. as we repeated the chorus, i kept thinking to myself; what does it really mean to “surrender” to God? surely it means much more than just “doing everything for God”, “commiting everything to Him”, “letting go and making sacrfices for Him”, “let God take control” etc.? or maybe it is that simple, and that’s just it? questions abound as i searched my own heart for areas where i can surrender to God.
studies – I came to terms with it at the end of last year, thank God (: had been putting so much pressure on myself to do well, perhaps due to the fact that i didn’t do as well as i expected during the A’s and felt that i’ve let the people around me down, so i thought i could “prove” myself by achieving spectacular grades. i didn’t realise i was so caught up in it that i was relying so much on my own strength and little on God. i crumbled, really i did. it really heaped alot of stress on burden. thank God for stepping in at thr right time before i fell deeper any further into the big black hole of bondage. right now, im taking uni life as it comes (i still hope to do well but for the right reasons this time), exploring different things and learning to enjoy uni as much as i can. (: thank God the key people who helped me gain a better perspective in this process too – dazzlyn, xueli, my dad. so from this experience, i’m going to surrender my studies to God. the discipline to mug, the reassurance during exams, the confidence during presentations…it’s in Your hands.
cca – i think there are many tough questions which i would continue to struggle with, but i pray that God guide me in whatever decision that i make. A verse (or was it just a quote) i remember seeing was “For everything which God gave to us, He has every right to take it away.” until here i’m reminded of Job in the bible, how he lost literally everything, yet he kept faith and continued to praise God. Whether it is in this situation or others, i keep asking myself, will i ever be able to do that? at least one thing’s clear, i’m not doing this because of/for people, it’s for God. it’s a tough ride, because people judge. but nevertheless, will continue to uphold this area of my life in prayer, and may He grant me strength and courage with every step i take, and to guide me to wherever He deems fit.
speedlight buddies – i pray that God will use me mightily to touch the lives of these younger ones. i really am so thankful for each one of them, bundle of joys they are. (: it’s almost like being a cell leader to them, but not quite. pray that i’d allocate enough time and effort to invest in their lives, and may they learn to grow closer to You in this process.
salvation of loved ones - during cny i found out that in fact my paternal side of the family are actually christians! Praise the Lord :D awesome stuff, we’re surrounded by a family and community of christians. really hope to be able to find ways to reach out more to family and friends around me. (: i thank God that relationships are being strengthened, and may i seek to be a better testimony in the household each and every day.
love life <3 – haha. this is really funny typing it here. but come on, let’s be honest. we all think of it don’t we? i hit 20 this year, which is supposedly the ‘okay’ age to start a relationship. (honestly i don’t like the sound of twenty. cos i know once i hit the big 2, things will speed up and fly past me real fast from then on.) but these are just numbers aren’t they. well, had a good talk with xueli this afternoon. i shared with her an interesting revelation i have of uni life so far. i shan’t say it here for fear of being stoned. o.O (okay perhaps you may be able to make an intellectual guess now) and then she shared with me her current stand on this issue of relationships. judging from all our thoughts and experiences, perhaps (because i really don’t know at this point) it’s just God’s way of preserving us for someone, we’ll never know until the day comes. maybe He just wants us to be content first and foremost (: all i can say is His way of teaching the subject “love” is simply amazing. i might attempt to explain it but i predict it’d fail miserably. Ask God to do it. (:
…just some of the areas i feel i need to surrender my life to God. there are definitely more, in fact, more indefinitely. if you understand what i mean.
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Blessed be Your Name.
